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I Can't Drive. I can't drive a car, a bus, truck, van, I can't even drive a go-cart. Am I embarrassed? Pssh! Heck no! My Auto Ignorance is what's keeping the people of the world safe from harm. My Brain to Feet co-ordination needs more work before I can take on Brain-Eyes-Vehicle-Road-Other Vehicle-Coordination. You're welcome World!

My past significant other was so frustrated by my lack of prowess in any type of driving, that he tried to take up the daunting task of actually teaching me how. Funnily enough, it started out OK......until I started to picture his little car ploughing through innocent by-standers and leaving a wake of carnage with me behind the wheel, screaming, "I'M SORRY! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS!?". Needless to say, that little mental episode psyched me out completely.
You might be asking, "Will she ever learn to drive?' "Can one human be this sad?" "What will happen when the world runs out of BACON?" To answer your questions; probably, yes and anarchy.

If you have nothing better to do, send me your pathetic tales of Driving Woes at eb[email protected] and I'll share it with the world. I refuse to be the only lame one in existence.